A Way Out
by AWhitfield
Summary: Bella can't cope with the emotional pain of losing love when Edward leaves in New Moon. Even the countless doctor visits couldn't drag her out of her pit of despair. When all else has failed, she knows only one more way to escape the pain. Death.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Hi, I'm AWhitfield and this is my second fanfic. This chapter is so short because it's really like a prologue but I wanted to call it a chapter. :) Enjoy The Story!**

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><p>I looked at the knife in my left hand, and then at Charlie's gun in my right, trying to decide which way out would cause me less pain. I sat on my bed in my room in Charlie's house and tried to come to a decision before he got home. Ever since the Cullens left, all that I have felt is pain and despair. I'm not sure how I survived this long…but I did. And now I'm ready to leave my life, my personal hell behind. I loved him with all that I am and he confirmed every fear that I'd ever had about our relationship. I was never good enough to satisfy him. When he left, I was depressed and sent to an endless amount of psychiatrists for help with my "problem". But I never spoke to any of them, other than to ask to go home at the end of the session. I knew I wasn't crazy. I was just broken.<p>

I raised the knife up to the left side of my chest, making sure to aim directly towards my heart. With both hands on the weapon, I slammed it into my chest. I didn't bother pulling it out and blood gushed out of my chest and onto the comforter of my bed. I crawled up to the top of the bed in more pain than I anticipated. My breaths became slow and hallow while I watched the crimson flow of life drain out of my very existence. I thought of my life while it slipped away. My life hadn't even started until I decided to move in with Charlie. Until I met Edward and his supernatural family that I loved nonetheless. Lying on my back with my hand on my stomach, I closed my eyes and wallowed in the serenity of my death. Suddenly, my door flew open and my hands clenched in anger but I didn't bother opening my eyes. _Who's interrupting my peace? _

"Bella! Oh my God, Bella! I'm so sorry. Please don't leave me. I didn't mean it! You promised not to hurt yourself! You promised!" Someone sobbed into my ear. I weakly opened my eyes and stared at the butterscotch orbs in front of me. I'd never seen so much sadness in my entire pathetic excuse of a life. But I immediately recognized the beauty in front of me. He'd come for me. But it's too late. I wanted him to come back because he loved me, not because he was guilty of causing my death. He was on the right side of the bed with his knees on the floor. I slowly raised my hand and ran it through his beautiful bronze hair. I let a small smile lift up the side of my mouth as my eyes closed involuntarily. It was then that I knew it was time to go. My arm fell limp to the side of my body and I took my last breath, preparing to go home. Edward's cries faded and all I heard, saw, and felt…was nothing.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: So...What'd ya think? Review and let me know.<strong>** Should this continue as a one-shot or a story?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Hello! This is the second chapter of A Way Out. Thank all of you who suggested turning this into a story. I decided to take your advice, so...yeah.**

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><p>Previously:<p>

_My arm fell limp to the side of my body and I took my last breath, preparing to go home. Edward's cries faded and all I heard, saw, and felt…was nothing._

Now:

Darkness engulfed me. I couldn't see my hand in front of face. Whether that was from the fact that I was dead or I just couldn't see, was unknown to me. Suddenly, I felt a faint beating coming down onto my torso. It was like my heart was beating from the outside of my chest. A small speckle of light shined in the distance but I knew to stay away from it. It wasn't the light of heaven. It was the light of someone shining light onto my face. I knew only one place where people did that and I did my best to stay away from it. I didn't _want_ to live. Isn't that the purpose of suicide, anyway? The light had gotten brighter and brighter until it was nearly blinding. The beatings on my heart were consistent and rapid with frustration. With one last blow, my back arched against whatever flat surface that I was lying on and inhaled reluctantly. For a moment, I considered not even breathing and hopefully I'd suffocate. I clamped my mouth and eyes closed and didn't let any air through my nose. I was going to die one way or another.

"Bella, breathe!" someone shouted right next to my ear. And it hurt. That's when I realized that I hadn't died because_ someone _decided to say me. Were my handprints on the knife not enough proof to them that I was committing _suicide_? If I _do_ live, the first thing that I'm going to do is buy my "savior" a dictionary with the word _suicide _highlighted in every possible color. It was then that I noticed that my heart _was_, indeed, beating. I opened my eyes and mouth at the same time with a massive inhalation of air. My breaths were short and erratic. After some time, my brain finally received the oxygen that it had been deprived of and I looked around the room. Every single Cullen was in the room staring at me. If I hadn't lost so much blood, I'm sure I'd be blushing uncontrollably right now. They all looked heartbroken and slightly disappointed. Rosalie looked just plain bored with a hint of concern. I did my best to not even look in her direction. Since no one made any notions to speak, I figured I'd be the first to say something.

"Why did you save me?" I kept my eyes glued to my hands in my lap as I sat up. I was doing my best to hide the tears that always come when I get emotional and angry.

"Why_ wouldn't_ we? We lo—"Carlisle began, but I couldn't bear to hear him claimed to love me and then leave again.

"No." I said simply and, for the first time, looked into his eyes. He flinched at the pain in my eyes. I guess he regrets saving me now that he has seen how I feel every day.

"No? What do you mean 'no'?" I looked at him in disbelief. He really didn't know? I quickly lost my shocked expression and replaced it with the one that I wore before. My signature look.

"You mean you don't know?' I asked. When they understood that I expected an answer, everyone with the exception of Edward shook their heads. Edward just stared at the ground.

"Edward told me the truth." I informed them and they all looked confused for a second before they turned towards Edward in suspicion.

"What did he say?" It was Rosalie that spoke this time.

"Well?" I prompted, looking at Edward. He seemed like he snapped out of a trance but eventually got the hint of what everyone wanted to know.

"Tell them what you told me, Edward." He hesitated before going into the tale of how he broke my heart.

"I didn't mean to—"he began but I wasn't having any of that.

"Just…tell them _exactly_ what you told me in the forest. Don't leave anything out and don't add anything in." I instructed very carefully.

"I said that…you weren't good enough for me. And that our family doesn't love you." He whispered but just loud enough for me to hear.

"And…" I urged as tears began to leak from my eyes. The memory of that day was tearing me apart.

"And…that we were leaving. And never coming back." It was dead silent as they tried to process what he had just said. No one spoke, so I decided to break the ice…again.

"He confirmed all of my uncertainties since the day that I met you all." I began, before I reminded myself of my promise.

"Does anyone know where I could get a dictionary and some highlighters?" I asked, without looking up. This must've brought them all out of their trance because they all began screaming at once. I could barely make out the conversation but I did hear a few words spoken towards Edward. _Bastard. Idiot. Dumb—_

"It isn't his fault." They all stopped talking when I spoke so calmly. "He just reinforced everything that I had already known. His methods literally killed me but…what else is there to ask for? You guys don't owe me anything." I said as I wipe vigorously at the tears that stained my face. But every one that was wiped away only caused another to fall. Eventually I gave up.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. I only told you those things because I knew you wouldn't have let me leave otherwise." Edward explained but I was beyond his excuses. But that doesn't mean that I wasn't curious.

"Why did you have to leave, Edward?" I didn't bother covering up my sobs.

"Because this world isn't for you. It's too dangerous for a human to be around vampires on the daily basis. You'd need protection from the Volturi, Victoria and not to mention the way I couldn't kiss you without worrying about your safety. I only wanted what was best for you." I looked up at his fearful eyes and wondered what he was so afraid of.

"I think changing me would've solved each and every problem that you've been so worried about. Why was that never an option?" I could see anger rising in his eyes. Why would our eternity together upset him so much? Oh, yeah. I remember now.

"Because you would've hated me for it! I'd never damn you to the life that I wouldn't have chosen for myself. You would've resented me forever." His tone was sad, yet determined. He wasn't going to changed me, even now. After all that we'd been through. At this moment, I realized that he _really_ didn't love me. Even the thought of it broke my heart and the heart monitor began beeping like crazy at my sudden changed of rate. Everyone began to panic and Edward raced to my side.

"What's wrong? Are you in pain?" I shut my eyes and reminded myself of the peaceful darkness that I experienced before I was revived. I heard the heart monitor slow to a steady rhythm and with a sigh, I opened my eyes. They were all staring again. I looked Edward in the eyes when I spoke.

"I'm always in pain."

He looked as if those four words killed him. I just turned to the entire family, ignoring Edward who sat on my bed.

"You need to leave." I addressed their family, keeping my head turned towards the wall where no one stood.

"Bella, please just—"

"Please…" I turned towards Edward after interrupting him and showed him the same thing that Carlisle had seen. Pain. Wordlessly, his family filed out one by one. Emmett came and pulled Edward towards the door. But before they were completely out of my room, Emmett softly said something to Edward.

"You should've just changed her, man. Alice saw it, so it was _going_ to happen anyway."

"She would've despised me, Emmett." Edward responded in a fierce growl.

"How do you think I feel now?" I said softly and looked up to see that Edward's expression was filled with heartbreak. He quickly stumbled through the doorway and Emmett followed close behind him, knowing that he was going to do something dramatically stupid. I laid my head back on the soft pillow and close my eyes. My sudden epiphany make my eyes snap open in shock. _I wasn't in the hospital. _I thought as I looked at the wall covered with CDs and the black couch sitting against the wall. I was in the Cullens' home.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: So, how do you like it? Review and let me know! Also, check out my other story called The New Isabella. I've been told that it as great. And before I forget. Can anybody recognize Bella's unusual requested in this chapter and tell me why she asked for it. Hint: It was said at the beginning of this chapter.<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: Hi.**

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><p>Previously:<p>

_My sudden epiphany make my eyes snap open in shock. I wasn't in the hospital. I thought as I looked at the wall covered with CDs and the black couch sitting against the wall. I was in the Cullens' home._

Now:

After the shock of realizing that I was in the Cullens' home, inside Edward's room, I went to sleep for a few hours. How much sleep can you get when you're in the house of the people that caused your depression? My eyes opened and I look out of the window that took up one whole side of the wall. It was pitch black outside, bringing me to the conclusion that it was at least midnight. I also noticed that I was now in the guest room. I got off the queen-sized bed and walked towards the door. Hanging on a hanger was an all-black nightgown that looked like it came to just above my knees. I glared at the gown before grabbing the card that was clipped onto it. It was plain but had _Bella_ written on the top in feminine and elegant script. I opened it and read the letter inside.

_Bella,_

_I know that you aren't exactly in a safe state of mind right now but here is something for you to wear around the house. Your toiletries are in the bathroom for you to take a shower. We all went hunting and I would've stayed with you but Jasper demanded that I hunt. He's always so protective and worried about me. Anyways, I saw you waking up at 12:08 am and I also saw that you wouldn't be able to get back to sleep for at least four more hours. So don't try. There's food in the pantry and refrigerator (I didn't know what you liked, so I just got some of everything.) and your books are in the living room on the table. If you want to watch TV, the remotes are in the cabinet next to it. They are labeled for your convenience. We'll be back around six so that you won't be alone for too long._

_Love, _

_Alice_

I reached over and put the note on the nightstand before grabbing the nightgown and going into the bathroom. I quickly stripped myself of all clothing and stepped into the shower. I turned the water onto an almost painful degree but I needed to wash away all of my pain. It was as if it had multiplied since I had arrived here. Everything reminded me of him. There were constant memories of our failed love around me and I felt like I was suffocating in my own agony. I stepped out of the hot shower, shivering as the midnight breeze hit my still wet form. I looked at the mirror and was surprised that I didn't look _that_ bad. My brown eyes had shown no signs of life but I had no scars or bruises. I guess my blood transplant made me look not as pale as before. My mahogany hair had grown since the last time that I paid any attention to it. I felt it on the small of my back but it was wet and tangled. I put on the black undergarments that Alice had left for me and then put the gown over it. It came to just above my knees as predicted. I quickly brushed my teeth and moisturized my body. Walking into the room, I grabbed the brush from on the nightstand and sat on the bed. I grabbed small sections of hair and brushed through the knots in them. When I was finished, my hair cascaded down my back, stopping where my belt should be. I never meant to let it grow this long. The shampoo and conditioner that Alice bought worked wonders on my hair because it was shiny, straight and full of life. Unlike myself. I went around the room, searching for a pair of scissors to shorten my hair. When I finally found a pair in one of the desk draws, I looked at the moonlight that glimmered on the blades. Turning them in my hand, I slowly wondered if I had finally gone psychotic. Maybe.

I separated the blades and brought one of them onto my left wrist. This could be it. This could be my escape. Placing the blade on my vein or artery, I regretted not listening in Biology class. I didn't know which was red and which was blue. _Does it really matter? _A voice asked me. _No. No it doesn't. _Just as I was about to break skin, someone dashed into the room and snatched the scissors right out of my hands. I looked up to see a furious Edward looking directly at me. The moonlight bounced off of his bronze hair. He really was beautiful.

"Bella…_why_?" I could hear the pain in his voice but I couldn't care at that moment.

"Because I _hurt_, Edward. It _hurts_." I started crying and backing away from him. When I reached the wall, I slid down onto the floor and wrapped my arms around my knees. Somehow, he knew I wasn't talking about physical pain. He took a step towards me but I immediately began to panic and scooted into the corner as if I would blend in with the darkness. Tucking my head into my forearms, I cried like an infant. When Edward touched my arm, I flinched and scooted impossibly closer to the corner without lifting my head.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. Love, please stop crying." Edward said into my ear but I just couldn't stop crying and I didn't even know _why _I was crying in the first place. I felt a gush of wind and Edward's voice disappeared. I immediately knew that he'd left the room. I finally crawled out of the corner after about twenty more minutes of weeping and sat at the vanity. It was mahogany colored, just like everything else in the room. Looking into the mirror, I decided not to do this anymore. Not to let _them _ruin my already pathetic life. I grabbed the brush from the desk and went back to brushing my unusually long hair. I was going to take care of myself. If not for me, then for my future husband. I was not going to lose hope. Not yet.

After finally going through all of the sections of my waist-length hair, I tossed it over my shoulder. I grabbed a disinfectant wipe from the box and lightly wiped at my face. All this time, I never looked away from the mirror. The shadows casted around my eyes and my lips dry from my breakdown. I picked up the light makeup and evenly spread the foundation around my eyes. Not enough to be noticeable, but just enough to lighten the bruises under them. After that, I put on the lip chap that was unscented. Once again, not noticeably but just enough that my lips didn't look like the desert. Once I was done, the girl in the mirror was finally presentable.

Walking out of my room, I went downstairs towards the living room where I heard soft whispers but they immediately stopped when I walked into the living area barefoot and wearing only the black nightgown. My steps were light and I was surprised that they were somewhat graceful and careful but not nearly as poised as Alice's. They all stared at me and I continued my journey to the cocktail table. After grabbing _Wuthering Heights,_ my all-time favorite book, I sat on the couch with my legs tucked under my body and began reading.

_Chapter One_

_1801. - I have just returned from a visit to my landlord - the solitary neighbour that I shall be troubled with. This is certainly a beautiful country! In all England, I do not believe that I could have fixed on a situation so completely removed from the stir of society. A perfect misanthropist's heaven: and Mr. Heathcliff and I are such a suitable pair to divide the desolation between us. A capital fellow! He little imagined how my heart warmed towards him when I beheld his black eyes withdraw so suspiciously under their brows, as I rode up, and when his fingers sheltered themselves, with a jealous resolution, still further in his waistcoat, as I announced my name. 'Mr. Heathcliff?' I said._

"Ummm…Bella?" Carlisle interrupted me.

"Yes?" I responded, never taking my eyes away from the book.

"We need to talk." He said. I sighed and put the book back to the table. I should've expected this conversation to happen sooner or later.

"About what?" I asked.

"You." I sighed again and looked up at his family that was standing right in front of me. I reminded myself to stay strong and confident.

"Okay…talk." I folded my legs underneath me and put my hands in my lap, looking Carlisle straight in the eyes. There's nothing that he could say to hurt me more than they already have.

"Bella, you're…mentally ill. After the police investigation and it was proved that you tried to kill yourself, you were committed to a mental hospital once you were released from my care." He explained. I felt my eyes go wide with shock. They were sending me to a CRAZY HOUSE?

"Now, Bella, you don't have to go if—" Carlisle tried to give me options but in all actuality, I was out of them.

"No. It's fine. When do I get transferred?" I asked in a rush. They all looked at me like I actually _was_ crazy.

"You do understand that you don't have to go, don't you?" Esme informed me, speaking as if to an infant.

"Yes. Where else will I go? How can I face Charlie after all of the pain that I've put him through?" I asked, finally reminding myself that Charlie was involved in this as well.

"You could always stay here. We have enough…" Alice stopped speaking altogether as I gave her my stop-making-reasonable-suggestions look.

"You know as well as I do that I don't belong here. I never have and I never will." I calmly stated. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward frown. Isn't he the one that caused all of this anyway?

"We could drop you off first thing in the morning." Carlisle said and Edward looked at him like he was threatening me or something.

"Thank you. I'm going to get some rest, now." I stood up and walked back to the guest room that I had been staying in. I noticed that when my confidence came, my clumsiness left. That could come in handy. I lay on top of the comforter; not bothering to cover up since it was decently warm on this particular night. My eyes finally drooped close to the sight of the alarm clock on the nightstand changing from 3:59 am to four o'clock.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: I'm tired so...yeah.<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: The fourth chapter of A Way Out.**

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><p>Previously:<p>

_My eyes finally drooped close to the sight of the alarm clock on the nightstand changing from 3:59 am to four o'clock._

Now:

"Ouch!" I shouted as an alarm clock nearly busted my eardrum. I smack it off of the nightstand and it crashed to the floor but still didn't stop ringing. I lay back down and covered my face with the pillow. Sighing, I realized that no fort in the world could block my ears from that consistent screeching. Groaning, I slid off the bed and hit the dismiss button on the alarm clock. It finally was dead silent in the room. More so than it should've been.

I slowly walked towards the bedroom door and opened it. Walking quickly through the hallway, I noticed hushed voices coming from the kitchen. I walked into the kitchen to see the entire Cullen clan sitting around the dinner, or in their case 'meeting' table and they immediately stopped whispering.

"Good morning, Isabella." An old man that greatly resembled Dr. Phil greeted me.

"Hello." I nearly whispered. I looked at the other Cullens but no one would look me in the eyes.

"I'm Dr. Rios and I'll be your phychiatrist for the next few weeks or so." He said this as if he was telling me that I won the lottery.

"Wait. I thought I was going to a mental hospital for my…ummm…condition." I asked, confused.

"No. You'll be staying with Dr. Cullen and we'll discuss a schedule for regular visits at my office." When he said this, the Cullens finally looked up at me. They all looked guilty of something. I felt no sympathy.

"So, I'll be living with the reasons for my suicide attempt?" I asked, as if I hadn't understood him the first time he said it.

"We think that the emotional damage done by this family could be repaired if you had direct contact with them." I gaped at him in disbelief. _How in the hell is _he_ supposed to know how to mend a broken heart?_

"And by '_we',_ you mean you and Carlisle." I stated.

"Well, yes but that has nothing-"Dr. Rios said but I interrupted him. I tend to do that a lot now.

"You put him up to this, didn't you?" I asked Carlisle but still didn't look in his direction. I was too busy glaring at Edward. I don't know how, but I _do_ know that he had _something_ to do with this.

"Bella, we think that this would be what's best for you. We just want you to get better." When I finally looked at Carlisle, he was pleading with me to accept his decision.

"By torturing me? When will someone ask me what I want? Why do you keep making decisions for me? What about my dad? Does he know about this arrangement?" I fired the questions back to the whole family instead of just the leader. I showed no signs of being upset because I was hiding my emotions. With 'Dr. Eavesdropping-In-My-Business' over there watching me like a hawk, I couldn't afford to give him a reason to subject me to staying here for more than a few weeks.

"We're not sure whether you know what you want or not. You're not mentally stable. You need to heal." 'Dr. Know-It-All' was really irritating me right now. And that's putting it politely.

"So, you think you can just waltz your way in here and tell me what I want?" I was past caring about what he wanted to subject me to. Edward thought that he knew what I wanted and _obviously_ he was pretty far from the mark.

"Look, do what you want. Take me where you want and treat me how you want but I will _never_ forget…nor will I heal." I whispered the last part more to myself than the others. I realized that the aspect of me _actually_ healing is pretty farfetched. Even I couldn't dream of it.

I turned and walked up the stairs into the guest room that had been transformed into my room so that Edward could have his back. I was so mentally exhausted. I just wanted to lie down and take a mind-nap. Instead I sat at the vanity and looked in the mirror. My hair was hideous. I don't even know when I started caring about my appearance but this was ridiculous. I grabbed the brush and the curling irons and went to work.

Thirty minutes later, my hair was in long, wide curls down my back. I need fresh air. I went to the closet that was piled with clothes that I don't remember buying, nor bringing here. Oh, well. I looked around until I found a white sundress. I found a pair of three-inch wedges sitting right under it. They had white straps to match the dress. I showered in the bathroom down the hall from my room. Quickly scrubbing my body, I exited the bathroom and hurried back to my room to get dressed. After putting the outfit on, I went down the stairs very slowly incase my clumsiness decided to reappear any second now. I made it to the living room without complication.

"Where are you off to?" Emmett surprised me from the couch. Everyone, with the exception of Carlisle and Esme, were in the living room.

"A walk in the park." I answered without stopping to make eye-contact with any of them.

"Would you like a ride there?" He asked and I politely declined.

"No."

"Your dad brought your purse over. Well, the last one that you used. It has your phone, keys and other things in it. Your truck's in the driveway." Alice so-kindly informed me. I nodded in response. Right when my hand touched the doorknob, I felt that familiar gust of wind and almost rolled my eyes when Edward was standing right in front of me.

"May I help you?" I asked with very apparent irritation.

"Are you sure that you should be walking to the park alone?" He asked, with almost believable concern.

"I guess so. Or I wouldn't have suggested it five seconds ago." I sighed as I said this, knowing that he'd push the issue for just a bit longer.

"But I don't think that it would be safe for you to go out alone." He moved closer to the door when I made a move to leave. I thought about telling him that I never _asked_ nor _cared_ about what he thought, but that'd be rude. Instead, I settled for this.

"Fine."

"Alright, well, I'll get my keys and we can—"Edward began.

"Jasper, can you please accompany me to the park?" Everyone was completely shocked at my request but there was no way in living hell that I was going anywhere alone with _him_.

"Me?" Jasper asked, dumbfound.

"Unless, you know any other vampire soldier named Jasper that happens to be married to an Alice, then yes, I'm talking to you." My patience was once again wearing very, _very_ thin.

"Ummm…ok." Jasper stood and got his car keys from one of the hooks next to the front door. He came to the front door, but Edward was still standing in front of it like a lost cause.

"Edward…" Jasper said, but Edward still stood there and stared at me. His look was so intense that I could practically feel his disappointment and sadness. I stared right back at him.

"Edward. Please move out of my way. Now." I ordered. I don't know where I got the confidence from but it felt amazing. He slowly removed his hand from the doorknob, revealing that it was now nothing but scrap metal. Jasper opened the door for me and I stepped out into the wind and was immediately relieved. It tossed my hair around and I loved every second of it. After being confined to that house, I appreciated air just a little bit more now. I heard the door shut behind me.

"You ready to go?" Jasper asked from beside me, while my eyes were closed.

"Yes." I said, as I opened them with a new purpose.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: HI! I apologize for not being very consistent with update but I haven't been getting many reviews so...REVIEW!**

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><p>Previously:<p>

"_You ready to go?" Jasper asked from beside me, while my eyes were closed._

"_Yes." I said, as I opened them with a new purpose._

Now:

"So, where to?" Jasper asked me as we left the driveway and walked until we came to an intersection.

"Anywhere." I responded while continuing to walk towards Olympic National Park. I came here to read for hours, before I met Edward, that is.

"Right." Jasper said, with confusion. I didn't pick Jasper for any specific reason besides the fact that I didn't want to go with Edward. That would've been a disaster.

I pulled out my iPod that I barely ever use and put it on shuffle while picking a random song. 'Someone Like You' by Adele played through the earphones and I almost dropped my device. This is not the kind of song that I would want to hear right now, and yet I didn't changed the song. My finger hovered over the 'skip' button but after about twenty seconds, the screen's backlight shut off, locking the iPod. I just let the song play and soon found myself humming the lyrics. Eventually I began subconsciously singing the song. My eyes began to water as I realized that I'd never find someone as good as Edward. He was almost too good to be true. Then again, he left me so what do I do now? I have no one to turn to. No one to confide in. No one to help me get over this. But when I think about it, did I really want to get over Edward? I don't know. I truly don't know.

As the song ended, we entered the park. And there were kids everywhere. It would've been terrifying had I not known that it would be like this before I decided to come here. I looked around for my usual spotted under the beautiful oak tree and smile brightly when I saw that the area around it was secluded. I walked to the tree and sat under it having flashbacks to when I used to sit under this same tree when I first came to Forks. I've cried here and rejoiced at many different periods of time. This peace that I felt whenever I came here, this serenity, it was all mine. No one, not even Edward, could take this from me. Forgetting Jasper, I grabbed my book from my bag and began reading _Wuthering Heights, _beginning where I left off.

Lost into the world of Heathcliff, Catherine and Edgar, time became an insignificant thing to keep up. After what felt like minutes later but was probably an hour at most, I looked up to see the park deserted and the sun setting. How long had I been reading? I thought about retrieving my cell phone from my purse to check the time, but my breath caught in my chest at the sight before me. The sun was setting over the lake next to the park and the sight was … purely amazing. The orange glow of the suns blaze casted a variety of colors to splash across the lake. The deep blue of the ocean contrasted greatly with the bright hues mixed in the suns glare. Eventually, I remembered the task at hand. Time. I reached into my bag and pulled out the small cellular device from the pocket compartment on the side. Pressing the power button lit up the screen and displayed the time in bright white colors. It clearly read _7:16 p.m_. my eyes widened but I didn't make a sound. _Where's Jasper? _I asked myself as if I knew the answer. I looked around and found Jasper sitting on the bench located a few feet away from me. He was staring at the sunset also. But he looked like he was struggling with something. I dispelled that thought, realizing that I should be getting back to the Cullens' mansion.

"We should be heading home. Edward probably is getting worried." Jasper said suddenly, pulling me from my thoughts of the same conclusion. I nodded slightly to indicate that I had heard. Sighing, I stood up from my spot of confront and stepped back into reality. Stupid reality. I began walking in the direction of my temporary home with Jasper close on my right side.

"Bella. Can I ask you a question and get an honest answer?" Jasper asked me.

"Sure." I responded with nervousness and a little curiosity.

"What's the reason behind your pain? How do you deal with it? Because sometimes I have to leave the house due to your depression. Though you try to suppress it, I can still feel it." I almost tripped over air when he said that he could feel my pain. Why should someone else suffer because of me? Guilt began to settle in my already dead heart but he stopped it before I can recognize it.

"Bella, please don't blame yourself. Whatever the reason is, I'm sure you didn't cause it yourself." He tried to help but I knew the truth. I should've been good enough for him. I should've been prettier or less of a klutz all of the time.

"Your emotions… they keep changing but they remain within the same range. Depressed. Worthless. Guilt. Self-Loathing. Regret. Sadness. And pain. Lots of pain. Why?" He listed everything that I was feeling, making me feel even worse.

"Because I wasn't enough." I just barely answered with a whisper as we walked up to the door of his home. He took this as a hint that the conversation was over.

I used my key to open the front door and slowly glided through the passageway. Jasper locked the door behind me and it reminded me of the booming slam of steel gates in prison. Sitting my purse on the small stool next to the table. As I turned, the first thing that I saw was a very worried Edward with his head in his hands as he slouched over, sitting on the couch. His head shot up when I looked at him, like we caught him off guard or something, which was close to impossible since I stumbled over the stairs to get into the house. I was halfway expecting him to rush out and catch me, but of course that didn't happen.

He sighed, relieved. I looked at my watch. _7:58 p.m. Really? _

"You're okay…" He exhaled.

"Yes, why wouldn't I be?" I asked, confused. Was there any danger?

"Because you've been gone for hours and you haven't called. I just thought that…" Leaving the end of the sentence for my imagination, he ran a shaking hand through his hair.

"Well, I'm fine." _Physically at least._ I began quickly pacing towards the staircase and all of a sudden it seemed like a mile-long run. When I finally got to the stairs Edward called my name.

"Bella."

"Yes, Edward?" I responded and turned to see anxiety plastered on his face. His usually-gold eyes were darkening with sorrow. I didn't understand what would cause him to become so troubled. If I was in danger, I'm sure I wouldn't still be here.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" He asked and fear began to grow from somewhere deep within me. But what was there to fear? I've known Edward for months and I'm more than sure he wouldn't hurt me. _Of course, he wouldn't intentionally hurt you._ My conscience to me. _But he's oblivious to the pain that even his presence brings._ I agreed with…uhh…myself. Edward wouldn't physically hurt me. But my heart was what I was worrying about? But throughout the one-sided monologue, my question remained unanswered. _Why did he want to talk to me?_

"Yes." I replied and sat on the long white couch, suddenly afraid to get it dirty somehow. He sat next to me, a bit too close for my liking but I didn't move though my body reacted by tensing on its own. Of course, he noticed and moved over the slightest inch. I relaxed knowing that he wasn't close enough for me not to focus on what he was going to say next.

But before he got the chance to say anything there was a knock at the door. I decided to get it since Esme was in the back tending to the beautiful garden. Right when I was about a foot away from the door, it literally flew off the hinges. In that split second, I felt a throbbing pain in my right shoulder. The force of the door slamming into the right side of my body knocked me off of my feet and onto the small wooden table that held my purse. Then, my torso began to ache with unbearable pain to the point where I couldn't even looked down to see what was wrong with it. The last thing that I heard before I blacked out was a feminine voice, giggling from the doorway.

"Knock, knock…" Her laughter caused fear to course through my body and I passed out.


	6. Chapter 6

Previously:

_But before he got the chance to say anything there was a knock at the door. I decided to get it since Esme was in the back tending to the beautiful garden. Right when I was about a foot away from the door, it literally flew off the hinges. In that split second, I felt a throbbing pain in my right shoulder. The force of the door slamming into the right side of my body knocked me off of my feet and onto the small wooden table that held my purse. Then, my torso began to ache with unbearable pain to the point where I couldn't even looked down to see what was wrong with it. The last thing that I heard before I blacked out was a feminine voice, giggling from the doorway._

_"Knock, knock…" Her laughter caused fear to course through my body and I passed out._

Now:

I'm not sure what happened after I fainted, but the Cullens must've taken care of Victoria because whatever I was laying on was as soft as a cloud. I don't think Victoria would care much about my comfort. I tried to open my eyes and find out where I was, but I was met with no response. My mind was very awake; however my body hadn't caught up yet. I could feel my feet though. I wiggled my toes, hearing their crackle as a retort. As time passed, I just laid there waiting for my brain to gain control of my body. Eventually, I could move my arms and legs to rid them of their stiffness and a little while later, I could open my eyes.

I opened my eyes to be greeted with the same amount of darkness. I sat up, releasing a ragged breath. It really hurt to move in any way, shape, or form. Particularly my torso. I looked around in the darkness trying to get my eyes to adjust, but nothing in the room got any more visible. Suddenly, the door opened and a stream of light flooded in from the hallway. Whoever opened the door turned the light on, but my eyes were still adjusting from the darkness.

"Edward, wh-" Was all that got out before my head snapped to the left against the force of someone's hand. Since I was sitting on the edge of the bed, I flew to the floor, groaning as my shoulder and ribs slammed against the ground.

"Do I look like Edward to you?" Victoria screamed at me. Anger raced through me, replacing the anticipated fear. Anger at the Cullens for not being able to save me and anger at me for not being able to save myself.

"Oh, it's you. Hello, Victoria." I said politely as I got off of the floor, using the bed for leverage. She just smiled at my greeting. "You finally came back for your revenge?" I asked, hoping she'd be able to save me from myself.

"… Something like that." She replied, as she stalked towards me. When she reached me, she grabbed the back of my head, pulling my hair downwards causing me clench my teeth against the pain. "So, I was thinking…" She cooed into my ear from behind me.

"Oh, well, that's certainly a start for you." I retorted. I was rewarded with another pull, this one much more aggressive. I cried out as my back arched against my will and I now looked into her eyes.

"Now that I have your attention, I was thinking. Killing you would be much too easy. Effortless. And I'm the type of woman that appreciates the complications that life throws at me." I rolled the hell out of my eyes at this.

"So, you decided to bore me to death with your life story?" I chuckled at my own little joke. Surprisingly, she laughed with me.

"Actually, I decided to make sure that your life story never ends." All of a sudden, it wasn't funny anymore.

"Where's the fun in killing you when I can watch you die every day at the loss of your stupid 'mate', who doesn't even realize the meaning of the word?" For the first time since I'd met Edward, I was scared. I always had faith that Edward would protect me, no matter what it was from. I always knew that his love for me would keep me safe. Even when he left, my hallucinations of him made me feel like he still cared enough to watch over me and make sure that I never got hurt. But, at this moment, I had never been so afraid for my life. Not afraid of dying. But of life as the undead. The very thought made me wanted to beg and grovel for Victoria's sympathy and forgiveness. I was prepared to do just that until she spoke again.

"But, not today." I released a breath that I didn't even know was stuck in my throat and thanked God for saving even the smallest bit of her humanity.

"I want you to suffer first." _I'm sorry, what humanity? _"Edward will go insane knowing that you'll become the monster that he convicts himself of being every single day. That's why he won't change you, am I right?" She threw me on the bed by my hair and I scooted backwards until my back was pressed against the headboard. Afraid to say something to change her mind, my silence filled the space where I think she was expecting a response. She began strolling towards me.

"If I'm wrong, I see no point in waiting so I guess—"

"Yes! You are right. You're correct." I all but yelled back at her. She smirked, but didn't stop walking towards me. I stopped breathing again.

"Well, we'll just have to wait to see what I decide, won't we?" She was about six inches from my face. Her sickly sweet breath invaded my nostrils, making me want to pass out right then and there. But, I guess she read my mind.

"Sweet dreams, Isabella." She whispered before her fist sent me to the stars.

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><p><strong>AUTHOR'S NOTE:<strong> MESSAGE! Sorry it's so short, but I couldn't find a good place to stop the story. Don't worry though. Because the next chapter is going to be A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! See you very soon!


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